We are all set to fly to Perth. 12th March 2020 is the fateful date. The past few days have been hazy - anxiety, excitement, hope and lack of sleep. But, I guess I need to stop. Breathe. Believe.
I dont know how move forward in this post. I could rant about my past suffering and pain.Or what I need to pack for a new life. This time I want things to be according to my wishes. Not Chetan's or my father's or my mother's or anyone else's. Dinner sets need to be neutral and new. Bedsheets need to be neutral and new. Not cheap and from a compromised outlet. Lamps, curtains and teacups need to be according to what I like. Partly because I know what I want now and partly because I am tired of compromises, especially when I am starting something new. These things are important to me. Some people are into appearances, some people like sports, I like my space to be calming. After a long day's noise, I want my silence in my space, in my lamp, with my tea in my cup. I know it is too much to ask for, but it is becoming difficult for me to function without it.
What can I take along with me? something that I cannot find in Perth?
Incense sticks, butter chicken, evening concerts at IIC, my hindi dialect, coincidental radio songs and roads carpeted with dry neem leaves that squeezed the tears from my veins, saraswati geographies and jnu chaais, psr and our spots, gandharva practises and madhavi di's high pitched diatribes, dtc buses and how the Delhi winters seemed to pass their windows, drives in my red alto in February near Rashtrapati Bhawan
How long has it been since I've missed these things? Probably too long. Long enough for me to miss my self. To forget it. To be reminded of them again , when I am standing at the precipice. Ready for another jump. ready for another realignment.
Here's to another turn together.
I dont know how move forward in this post. I could rant about my past suffering and pain.Or what I need to pack for a new life. This time I want things to be according to my wishes. Not Chetan's or my father's or my mother's or anyone else's. Dinner sets need to be neutral and new. Bedsheets need to be neutral and new. Not cheap and from a compromised outlet. Lamps, curtains and teacups need to be according to what I like. Partly because I know what I want now and partly because I am tired of compromises, especially when I am starting something new. These things are important to me. Some people are into appearances, some people like sports, I like my space to be calming. After a long day's noise, I want my silence in my space, in my lamp, with my tea in my cup. I know it is too much to ask for, but it is becoming difficult for me to function without it.
What can I take along with me? something that I cannot find in Perth?
Incense sticks, butter chicken, evening concerts at IIC, my hindi dialect, coincidental radio songs and roads carpeted with dry neem leaves that squeezed the tears from my veins, saraswati geographies and jnu chaais, psr and our spots, gandharva practises and madhavi di's high pitched diatribes, dtc buses and how the Delhi winters seemed to pass their windows, drives in my red alto in February near Rashtrapati Bhawan
How long has it been since I've missed these things? Probably too long. Long enough for me to miss my self. To forget it. To be reminded of them again , when I am standing at the precipice. Ready for another jump. ready for another realignment.
Here's to another turn together.
